Wednesday, July 11, 2012

ARGH!, I've Become My Mother!!

      Yesterday, I suddenly realized that one of my worst fears had come true.  I had become my mother!  ARGH! ARGH!  It must have happened gradually, for it I'd seen it coming, I'd have fought with every fiber of my being!  Not that my mother is a bad person, not by any stretch of the imagination.  But she's my mother for God's sake!  Who wants to become their mother?!
     How did it happen?  Was I kidnapped by aliens and had my mind and soul taken and replaced with my mother's?  Was I admitted to the psych ward and administered drugs?  Am I suffering from amnesia, and it's so rampant that when I look in the mirror, I believe it's her and not me?  Was I given a date rape drug, and when the mistake was discovered, the guy was was heard to mutter, "Man I screwed up big time.  But this is an old broad.  She won't remember for crap tomorrow.  She's already old as dirt.  She might even think she's her own mother!  No scenario fits.  But it is what it is.
     You might ask, why do you think you've turned into your mother.  A simple answer for a simple question.....BECAUSE I FIND  MYSELF DOING, SAYING, AND PROBABLY EVEN THINKING THINGS THAT USED TO ANNOY THE s@*^ OUTTA ME!  Things I sworn I'd never do, say or even think.  No doubt it's payback!  Then again, it is what it is.
     For instance, my son listens to music all day long.  Constantly.  Music, music and more music.   heard by  Not necessarily loud music, but it's audible.  IT BOTHERS ME!   I suggest he use ear or headphones, because I don't want to hear the noise 24/7.  Deja Vu.  My mother and I had the same conversation in the 60's.  I thought she was just being mean, because she could.  Now I understand.  Payback is a son-of-a-gun!
     I've become frugal, and thriftier, especially where food is concerned.  Notice I said thriftier.  I've never been a spendthrift, but now, if there's a spoonful left in the jar, I say use it before opening  a new one.  There's a slice of bread left...use it.  If a morsel remains, eat it, do not throw it out.  Mama would always say, "waste not, want not. Some people are starving, do not waste food."  That bothered me to no end, cause it meant, we ate a LOT of leftovers.  LOL.  But we thrived, and we survived.  I don't remember hearing a lot about fast food restaurants, with the exception of Top Hat Hamburgers, until the early 70's, so there was no, I'll pass on the leftovers, and walk to McDonald's later.  With what money?  Besides my parents wouldn't have let me waste money that way.  Mama would have said, "Girl you'd better eat what's here. Wasting that money!"  I tell my son not to try to eat out all the time, to save his money.  Guess the apple didn't fall far from the tree.
    After high school, before and during college, I guess I was like a lot of young people.  I'd go out to clubs, hang with friends, and thought if  stayed out late, that meant I could just sleep in.   Maybe that worked elsewhere, but not in my mother's house.  She ran a tight ship. 10 AM was the deadline for lying in bed, especially if the reason I wanted to sleep in was I'd been out late the night before.  Didn't happen.  I learned my lesson early.  I'd gone to a concert, and tried Sloe Gin Fizzes for the very first time.  Overdid it, was tipsy, and sick as a dog.  Mama not only made me get up, but wouldn't even go the drugstore for Alka-Seltzer.  I had to call a friend.  Mama did not play!  I've had the same discussion with my son.  I tell him he can party late all he wants, but when my feet hit floor in the morning, make sure his follow suit.
     The underwear thing puts the final nail in the coffin.  I HAVE TRULY BECOME MAMA!   Growing up, mothers always tell you to make sure you have good, clean underwear on, in case you get sick.  I'd always retort, 'Well I hope if something happens, they're trying to save me, and not look at my underwear.'  I had a similar discussion with my son just the other day.  I told him that he'd better buy himself some briefs, instead of all those designer, name brand clothes.  He said he didn't need any more underwear, - he had enough.  My response was, "Boy what if you get sick?"  He said, "You'll probably see me on U Tube."  Guess I've t come full circle!
     Now I can honestly say, "Mom I love you, I applaud you, I just never thought I'd be you!"

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