Random Mondays ~ "NEAT-O-PHOBIA"

     I've been examined by countless doctors, have scoured scores of medical journals, read advice columns, discussed it with  friends.  To no avail.  Now however thanks to Dr. Oz,  I can finally put a name to what's been ailing me since, - forever.   There's a valid reason as to why I'm a couch-potato.  I Am A NEAT-O-PHOBE!  I have NEAT-0-PHOBIA!  Thank you Dr. Oz!  You've rescued me from a lifetime of 'sedentary starvation.'
     NEAT is the acronym for non-exercise activity thermogenesis, and refers to any kind of movement, even if it's just standing up or walking around a few hours a day.  Sometimes, I'm  incapable of moving around, or being too mobile.  It's like I'm rooted to my seat and cannot move.  Now I understand why I've always been a couch potato.  I understand why I couldn't tear myself away from the television.  Why I developed spurs on my butt from occupying the computer chair for ours on end.  Why the thought of vacations, and cable interruptions sent me into a downward spiral.  I'm not lazy!  I'm not anti-social!  I'm not a procrastinator!  I'm sick, I have an illness, a phobia.  I'VE GOT NEAT-O-PHOBIA you moron!
     Now that I know what the problem is, I need to examine its origins.  Is it contagious?  How did I contract it, or is it genetic?  Was I born this way?  Come to think of it, my grandmother used to sit in her rocking chair for hours at the time.  I always chalked it up to advanced age.  Perhaps I need to  reconsider.  Maybe she wasn't just old, she too might have been afflicted with NEAT-O-PHOBIA.
     Just goes to show, you never know.  Wonder if there's a support group for this?  Hmmm.....